“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” – Ferdinand Foch
My journey has just begun…
Over the past few days of my soulwork training I have come to realize that I always went out of my way to please others. If I liked or admired someone I would conform my surrounding and interests to match theirs. I had fears of abandonment and not feeling I was good enough. I would conform to please. What I didn’t know is my soul was growing dimmer and dimmer from it.You can't possibly love another if you don't first love yourself. #HarlowsHead Click To Tweet
This is easier said than done. I didn’t like myself, much less love myself. I had an eating disorder, I did things that I’m not proud of that would keep me up at night when the guilt finally set it. I was going down a path of self destruction.
As I’m typing this I have my white candle going, my sandalwood infusing, and my sage smugger on hand. Yes, I am a witch. I do not worship or even believe in the devil (that is a Christian thing).
Some, if not most, will not understand my choice to convert from Christianity two years ago. I grew up southern Baptist. Scared into believing but when I would return home after church I’d kick my shoes off and run out into the forrest. Little did I know at the time this was Gaia calling to me.
I have always loved animals and despised cruelty and hatred. My childhood best friend and I would read one another’s tarot and predict the future with pendulums. I didn’t even know what witchcraft was at the time. Later, she would tell me her grandmother and aunt was a witch. Though she chose the western culturural path, I always knew I was different. At age seven we didn’t know good or bad, dark or light, we did what came natural to us.
Life has tested me. I was orphaned by age 14. Losing my parents destroyed me for years. I went down a very dark path or drugs, sex, and even violence.
I lashed out at the world. Why me? It would take me almost twenty years to finally get over my “lack of” childhood. I was mad. Dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle. Mom was supposed to teach me how to cook and shave my legs. It wasn’t until I met Jolene did I understand. I was conforming to a society that didn’t care about me. I had to start caring for myself. Love myself.
So, January 1, 2018, I started doing just that. First I stopped doing all things that did not longer serve my divine purpose. Now, I wake up every morning and pray. I ask my spirit guides to help shield me from negative energy and low vibrations, I make coffee, make my son’s lunch, and feed the dog. Then when the house is empty I meditate, read, and finally start my day. You see, I always felt guilty if I didn’t do EVERYTHING for the household and my family before putting myself first.
It’s ok to put yourself first. Nobody else is going to do it for you.
It was only after spending the past ten days doing so, did I realize that I was finally being more receptive to…well life. Colors…smells…feelings…everything suddenly opened up. Then it happened…
I have been reading ‘Destiny of Souls: New Case Studies of Life Between Lives’ by Michael Newton and he goes in depth about our soul and how he awakens it through regression. I highly recommend reading it to anyone curious about an afterlife. This morning I was meditating and focusing all of my energy into opening my third eye chakra and all of the sudden, I felt this warmth envelope me. I started crying. I cant explain it but right then and there I knew my soul was finally alive again.
Today really is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to cherish what I have and not what I don’t. Drink more water, love my babies, and pour a huge glass of wine.
Life is good… Carpe Diem.
Song of the Day: